


The Crucible Narrative

by A R Istaeus (Sphacelus)



Category: The Crucible - Miller
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Gen, Historical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:15:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21866581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sphacelus/pseuds/A%20R%20Istaeus
Summary: A remix of The Crucible's "God is Dead" scene from the point of view of John Proctor.
Relationships: Elizabeth Proctor/John Proctor
Kudos: 3





	The Crucible Narrative

“Answer my question— is your husband a lecher!?” Judge Danforth screamed. Softly, Elizabeth responded.

“No sir.”

“Oh God—” I mumbled. God… God please, why? Why? She wanted only to protect me, and in doing so she has damned herself, and she has damned me as well. 

Elizabeth was gently taken out of the room, and she passed one last glance to me, a broken, desperate glance... and then she was gone. The noise of the girls screaming and Judge Danforth trying to reassemble those in the court sounded as if I was underwater, with my racing thoughts being so loud I felt as though my mind would burst. She needs me, I must stay steady in my conviction. For Elizabeth, I won’t falter.

“I believe him!” Hale seemed as though he were on the verge of tears, his desperation was clear. Hale is a good man, and it appears that he tires of this hunt of false witches. He turned and points to Abigail, “This girl has always struck me false! She has—"

A chilling and foreboding cry fills the courtroom, echoing off the high wood rafters and shaking the thin glass panes in the windows. Abigail stands, now silent, shaking and staring with wide eyes at the beams of the ceiling.

“You will not! Begone! Begone, I say!”

Danforth questions her, but as he speaks his words are drowned out, as only one thought is present in my mind. Damn this child! I knew that she wishes to sabotage the life of my wife, but does she wish to throw my life away as well?

“Why—?” Abigail croaks out, then gulps. “Why do you come, yellow bird?”

I can’t take this, “Where’s a bird? I see no bird!” Despite my comment, she ignores me, only to continue her delusion.  
“My face? My face?”

I try to yell out to Hale for help, but Danforth forces me to be silent. He cares nothing of truth, he cares only for the respect he commands as an official. He’s no judge, he’s a blind figurehead who knows not of blatant lies!

Abigail continues crying into thin air. Yet, as I look into her eyes I see genuine fear. What the hell is going on?

“But God made my face; you cannot want to tear my face. Envy is a deadly sin, Mary.”

Wench. Prideful even in delusion. What am I going to do, what am I going to do? The other girls will get roped into this soon. Poor Mary, these girls are turning everything they have against her. They know she’s meek and cowardly. Abigail knows the weight of her actions against Mary’s mind. Mary will never last!

“Abby!” She cried, and as Abigail continues to babble to her supposed bird Mary cries out again, “Abby, I’m here!”

I turn to the judge, “They’re pretending, Mr. Danforth!” My voice is frantic, I must get myself back under control. What am I to do?

Abigail let out a wretched shout— “Oh, please, Mary! Don’t come down!”

“Her claws, she’s stretching her claws!”

“Lies, lies,” I tried to seem calm. Danforth seems to see right through me. God help me. Abigail cried out yet again. Mary, nearly crying, pleads to the judge.

“I’m not hurting her!”

“Why does she see this vision?” Danforth said coldly.

“She sees nothin’!”

Abigail piped up in a hypnotized mockery, “She sees nothin’!”

Her pitch and raise in tone was identical. What the hell is she doing now? Mary, please stay strong. All of the girls are beginning to imitate Mary as if in a trance. She’s breaking. She’s breaking, I can see it in her eyes. Even Danforth is hysterical. The girls won’t stop, Mary can’t defend herself. Hale tries to speak out to Danforth about the girls, for surely they must be lying, but Danforth won’t listen to him or Mary. He’s caught up in the hysteria. Mary, poor Mary, she’s weakening!

I cry out with what willpower I have left, “God damns all liars, Mary!”

Danforth questions her again, “You have made compact with Lucifer, have you not?”

“God damns all l-liars, Mary!” Please. Please stay strong. Keep true. Mary.

Danforth continues to yell questions at her, and she sputters unintelligibly while he grabs her shoulders with force.

“I say you will hang if you do not open with me!” 

How is Mary to handle not only the conviction of the girls, but of a grown man too. A grown man with the power to see her sent to the gallows! Surely— surely this is a crime!  
Another wretched shriek fills the courtroom, but this time the cacophony is amplified by the screams of the other girls as well. Abigail hollers into the ceiling again.

“Look out! She’s coming down!”

The girls pushed past each other, nearly trampling one another as they rush down the center aisle to hide behind the benches in the courtroom. They continue their shrieking, Mary is at wits end. I reach out to her. 

“Mary, tell the Governor what they—“

“Don’t touch me— Don’t touch me!”

“M-Mary!?”

“You’re the Devil’s man!”

Parris and the girls let out a shout, “Praise God!” They exclaim. I… I can’t do this. I know not how to describe this, but when you reach wits end and realize that there’s nothing left for you, there’s a calm that reaches you. A calm that pulls you up from the soul and sets you on your feet. It's like God telling you, “Hush, child. I am the God of all peoples. I will do with you as your purpose defines. Have faith in your purpose.” In the eye of a hurricane there is quiet for just a moment.  
Well.  
That moment is over now.

“Mr. Hale!” I cry out. My anger is compounding by the moment.

Mr. Hale starts up, “Excellency, this child’s gone wild!”

“Mary!” I tremble with anger as I continue, “Mary!” She babbles uselessly to herself. I told her, I told her! God damns all liars! Did she listen? Did she heed me? Did she heed GOD? No! Danforth turns to me and speaks.

“What are you…? You are combined with the Anti-Christ, are you not? I have seen your power, you will not deny it!”  
You… I cannot give you an answer you will accept other than a liar’s guilty plea. You think you understand the world so perfectly. What can I say? I’m punished regardless, by you or God.

“What say you, mister?”

Hale softly speaks, “Excellency—“

Danforth shuts him down yet again, “I will have nothing from you, Mr. Hale!” He turns back to me with hardened eyes, “Will you confess yourself befouled with hell?”  
He edges closer to me, eyes fixed on mine. “...Or do you keep that black allegiance yet?”

Danforth, now in my face, asks one last time, “What say you?”

“I say—”

What are you doing, Proctor?

“I say God is Dead!”

Parris goes mad with this statement. “Hear it, hear it!” He cries.

How funny is this? How funny is this, God? Am I part of your game? Am I part of your sport? DO you plan to rip everything from me, just to watch me crumple beneath the weight of my own sins? Its so funny I just can’t stop laughing!

“A fire, a fire is burning—!”

I’ll give them what they want.

“I hear the boot of Lucifer!”

I’ll give them everything I’ve got left!

“I see his filthy face!”

This is for the injustices of this court.

“And it is my face!”

This is for my wife!

“And yours, Danforth!”

In his eyes I see his fear. Isn’t this what you wanted, Excellency?!

“For them that quail to bring men out of ignorance, as I have quailed, and as you quail now...!”

I am no good man.

“...When you know in your black hearts that this be fraud— "

So if I cannot be a good man…

“God damns our kind especially, and we will burn! We will burn together!”

I’ll be the worst.


End file.
